This was one of the questions in my Bible study today, and it hit me pretty forcefully:
"How would your life change if humility were your dominant characteristic?"
Wow. I don’t think I have ever thought about this before. I have processed through humility and worked with fighting pride before but this just struck me differently. More than that, my answer struck a cord in me I wasn’t expecting.
I don’t consider myself a super prideful person. Over the last couple years I have dealt with it more than usual but I felt, like it was more area specific in my life. But tell me why my answer came suddenly and without counter thought: "I would love people more. And I would act on that love more, instead of just thinking through it and weighing it with my desire to do it."
Wow. Just wow.
I have been examining my life as of lately and my actions more than my intent in any given situation, and I have been very disappointed in finding my intent very high and my action very low. But because my intent is so high, I somehow feel like I have more of a right to judge my fellow man’s actions…and find them wanting on their actions and assume that their intent was low as well. Hypocritical? Absolutely. Shameful? You bet. But true? Sadly yes.
I make this confession because I want it to end. I want to be a person of action, not of intent. Intent means crap, intent doesn’t save anyone or anything but my ego.
When I read through the Bible this issue comes up a ton of action verses impact, and if you notice, the ‘heroes’ of the Bible are all people of action, albeit terrified action (which I’m convinced is some of the purest and most sincere forms of it whilst following Christ), but still action. People of intent are in there too but we might not notice them as much: The man who approached Jesus and told Him that he wanted to follow Him but wait until he could bury his father, and when Jesus said no, follow Me now, he couldn’t give it up. Or the rich man who asked how He could follow Jesus and when told that he needed to sell all of his riches and securities first could not do it. These were men of intent. Everything in their hearts wanted Jesus, but they would not let go of that one thing holding them back. I don’t want to be like that. I have that thing. We all have that thing. Question is, will I let it keep me from following my Savior?
I have been asking God how I can love Him, and how to love His people and what does that mean, and how do I even start? and does it come from me? and if not than how do I find it in Him strong enough for it to motivate me? Out of love and not out of a sense of moral obligation. This may be a big part of my answer, and I needed to hear it.
My older brother received a call at two pm on a Thursday,
That his roommate from college
And best friend from high school;
Overdosed and died,
Last Wednesday night.
My brother is 25 years old.
He missed three days of work, sat at home in the dark,
And cried for the first time in six months.
This is not poetry.
My father is very, very sick.
He sleeps for seven hours,
To build up a half hour of strength,
Just so he can pick me up from school.
He hasn’t been well in over a year.
He prays every night, “Thank you God, for making this happen to me, and not my children.”
I am swallowed in fear,
That soon enough, he will go to bed,
And never wake up.
This is not poetry.
There are thousands of people,
just to have one more day,
In hopes that it will get better.
You people glorify sadness,
and long for your death,
because apparently life,
is just too much of a burden.
Wake up, your ignorance is sickening.
Your life is thousands of times more beautiful,
Than your death will be.
José N. Harris (via theartofivankatrump)